Miracle of the Female Pope

“Venerable Saint Lazarus. After waiting for so many years, finally there is a female Pope. Praise Jesus! Glory to God! We have read and written so many feminist books, and finally, you have heard our prayers. Thank you! We will not let you down!”

“Venerable Saint Charbet. I doesn’t matter to me who the Pope is, although if God wants it to be a woman, that’s fine by me. I know that my mom is very happy, and when she is happy, me too. Now if you help me to score this goal, I’ll be the best Christian ever!”

“Beloved Saint Mark. Thanks be to God for now a woman is Pope. I like women very much – and also, women’s clothing. Maybe now I won’t feel so guilty for dressing like a woman.”

“Dear Saint Ramon Nonato. Thanks to God for the female Pope. She is intelligent and strong, but above all, she is capable of love. And this is what the world needs right now – more love. Especially in a position of power, I believe that this woman is going to make a difference. Good-bye corruption, and hello love. How strong the Church is going to be now!”

“Dear Saint Augustine. We believe that having a female Pope is a great idea, and we give thanks to God for her. Equality is an important lesson in the Bible and of Jesus, and finally the Church is following that lesson. We only hope that the next Pope will be gay – then we will feel that there is equality.”

“Dear Saint Peter. I give thanks to God for the first female Pope. Surely He will like talking with a woman for a change. When I grow up, I want to be the Pope too.”

“Saint Francis of my heart. All of my life I have felt like I don’t matter. I try and try, but always it is the same. But now, I do feel important, and that I can change things. Thank you God, and thanks to the female Pope as well.”

“Beloved Saint Charbel. I heard that the new Pope is a woman, but all of our problems remain the same. Traffic is horrible, and contamination is getting worse. Climate change is going to affect the world more than a female Pope. But I suppose it’s a step in the right direction. My wife is certainly happy, and God knows – when my wife is happy, the world is a better place! Thanks."

“Child Saint of Atocha. I think it’s strange that now we have a female Pope. She seems very nice, and looks beautiful dressed as the Pope. I think the world is going to be better because the Pope is a woman.”

“Dear Saint Felipe Neri. I give thanks for the female Pope. Life is hard, and the less discrimination, the better. I’ve worked fifteen years here, and have seen a lot of it. It’s good to see that the world is not always so corrupt.

“Praised Saint Thomas of Aquinas. I’m very happy that the Pope is now a woman. I hope that now I will be more respected in the Church. I work a lot for the church, and for charity, but I never feel good, because men are always more respected. The female Pope is a good example, and I give thanks to God for her.”

“Beloved Saint Judas. Finally I feel better for being Catholic. For sure a woman can do the job of a man – even better! Thank you God. I feel better… what lovely shoes!”